by Robert E. Lindberg, Ph.D.
(Code: 5=Describes me; 3=Working on it; 1=Doesn't describe me at all.)


1. You will break any chains of hopelessness, shame, and secrecy that may have been handed down within your family
2. You will learn to listen actively and empathetically
3. You will be able to personally validate yourself and depend less on others to do this for you
4. You will recapture your innocence
5. You will see beyond yourself and overcome constant self-absorption
6. You will develop the capacity to feel joy and you will have fun
7. You will be able to experience the present moment fully
8. You will get your needs met in direct, healthy ways rather than by manipulation
9. You will learn to become free from self-pity
10. You will understand that strength may be found in being vulnerable
11. You will learn about boundaries in relationships
12. You will learn to respect the messages of your own body
13. You will learn to develop self-esteem and healthy self-pride
14. You will learn from the past, not by getting stuck in the past, but by using your awareness of the past as a tool for moving healthfully toward a freer future
15. You will be able to make a 100% commitment to yourself and others
16. You will learn to pick a partner who can give as well as receive and conversely, you will learn to be a partner who can give as well as receive
17. You will learn not to settle for a situation or a partner that is not right for you
18. You will see your choices in life and you will learn to choose, with acceptance
19. You will slow down when appropriate and take really good care of yourself
20. You will learn to admit that you don't know all the answers and you will learn to feel comfortable with this reality
21. You will accept the lessons provided by experience and not fight so hard when a new lesson is presented by life
22. You will learn to get involved in a relationship out of mutual interest rather than out of need or pity (being a victim or a rescuer)
23. You will create a safe environment for yourself and feel that you belong