I always ask couples to sign the following agreement and give it to each other before we begin our work together. It's a start at giving each other the positive intentions that most relationships in trouble need. I ask them to leave unchecked any items they do not yet understand, and as they proceed with their work together, they will ask for their agreement back to add a check for each item that has become clear.
____I agree to stretch into my disowned parts to heal your childhood wounds.
____I agree to use the Intentional Dialogue, especially in conflicted situations.
____I agree to nurture you whenever you feel emotionally hurt.
____I agree to give you at least one caring behavior each day.
____I agree to give you a surprise at least once a month.
____I agree to initiate high energy fun with you at least once a week.
____I agree to replace all criticisms with Behavior Change Requests.
____I agree to gradually close all my exits.
____I agree to express all anger by appointment only.
____I agree to keep you physically and emotionally safe in our relationship.
Your Consciously Loving Partner