"The unconscious purpose of a committed relationship is personal development and self-completion." Harville Hendrix
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., the developer of Imago Relationship Therapy, uses the following basic premises as the foundation for his work. Drawing on the work of other theorists in addition to his own theories, Hendrix created a framework and skills through which couples could use the frustrations and conflicts in their relationship as a path to healing and wholeness for both partners.
1. Nature's agenda is: Completion.
2. We are all pulsating energy in a network of pulsating energies.
3. Our full aliveness (Feeling--Thinking--Sensing--Doing) gets shut down in varying degrees via socialization from childhood on.
4. It is the process of reclaiming those shut down, lost, denied and shadow parts of ourselves which moves us towards wholeness and healing.
5. Our unconscious strives to get from a partner, what we didn't get from our parents in order to complete our unfinished past and move toward healing
6. We pick someone who has an aversion to what we need; i.e., we pick someone who is least capable of giving us what we most need for our healing.
7. What our partner needs from us the most, we need to develop in ourselves the most in order to become whole and be healed.
8. Our maximum personal growth correlates positively with our attraction to incompatability.
9. If we're frustrated in our relationship(s) we're on The Path.
l0. Nature's agenda is: Completion.